Finding Yourself in Maternity Leave
We all have a social identity — something shaped by our profession, where we spend most of our time, or simply what we’re known for. This identity evolves as we move through new experiences and life stages. But for many people, it changes most dramatically the moment we become parents.
For women in particular, this shift can feel profound. During maternity leave, our world begins to revolve around nurturing the newborn. Conversations, thoughts, and routines start to orbit baby life. It’s a deeply rewarding time — but also one that can feel disorienting as we grow distant from who we once were.
Talking to your partner, friends, or colleagues about “regular” non-baby topics can start to feel strange, as though there’s little common ground.
But does it have to be this way?
Can new parents preserve a part of their identity while caring for their newborn?
The answer is — yes, you can!
And it starts, as most meaningful transitions do, with a bit of planning and compassion for yourself.
💡 1. Recognize How Identity and Time Intersect
Your sense of identity is often linked to where your time and energy go.
Think about what makes you feel like you — and set realistic expectations for how much time you can carve out daily, weekly, or monthly to stay connected to that.
Remember: the baby’s stage matters. You might find more flexibility after the first 8 weeks postpartum, and less again once your little one starts moving around. Allow for ebb and flow.
🗓️ 2. Make a Gentle Plan
Ask yourself: How do I want to spend my “identity hours”?
- Catching up with friends or colleagues
- Reading about your field or the latest news
- Starting a small personal project
Whatever it is — jot it down. A loose plan makes it easier to protect that time when it shows up.
🧸 3. Arrange Childcare (If You Can)
It’s not always possible — and that’s okay — but if you can arrange short childcare breaks, use that time for yourself rather than multitasking.
Sometimes a few minutes of true focus is worth more than hours of trying to do everything at once.
Alternatively, begin to integrate your new identity — bring your child into parts of your old life, building something new that feels balanced and sustainable.
🌿 4. Show Up — Even When It’s Hard
You won’t always stick to your plan, and that’s perfectly fine. What matters most is showing up.
Even if you only manage 5 minutes a day, it counts.
Those small moments of connection with yourself will add up over time.
This space is a friendly corner for parents trying to make the most of their parental leave — not by doing more, but by staying connected to themselves through it.
💬 What about you?
What helped you stay in touch with your identity during maternity or parental leave?
Share your thoughts in the comments — your experience might just help someone else find their footing too.
